XIII.XXVIII.MMVIII

so far..this week has been a bit hectic. when this new principal lady said that the school would be less crowded, she lied. it seems like the school is even more crowded than last year, especially during lunch. and this npl [ new principal lady; you`ll hear this a lot ] has already irked me; she`s made the whole campus ‘no electronics’. we can`t even listen to ipods in between classes or ANYTHING. no phones, no ipods, no NOTHING. why? because that bitch got power and know she can. anyway. there was a slight incident last year between some girl and i. well..i`ve managed not to just..bang her head against something. idk, i`m horrible at not holding grudges. but see, when someone talks crazy to you TWICE [ though i kinda brought that on myself ], THEN they decide they want to come on your property and kick your garage, you have reason to hold a grudge. out of all the girls that ride my bus, i talk to ONE. those other girls seem to think that i`m beneath them orwhatever. fuck it, i really could care less because i`m not on this earth or going to this schoolhouse for them, especially the sophomore bitch who thinks she`s so fucking raw. bitch please for the win.

but beyond that, my classes are pretty good. i had to change out of PALS because i was supposed to have an interview or some shit and no one told me [ which made me mad/sad ;_; ], so now i got plan for parenting. PLAN FOR MOTHERFUCKING PARENTING. do i LOOK pregnant? i`m not having anyone`s baby! WTF am i doing in there?! anyhow, next week i plan to change my schedule yet again..dumb ass counselors don`t know shit! but my u.s. history teacher..jesus christ. i don`t discriminate, but i don`t really end up attracted to white guys. but yeah, my teacher`s HAWT. with dimples and shit. OOHWEE. lmfao. and my aquatic science teacher is adorable too..he got that surfer look, pretty blue eyes and all. but yeah..i had to do a english paper this week and i presented it today..yeah my paper was FLYY. i`m not usually so cocky but shit i`m made for the pen and pad and i`m not gonna downplay that by a longshot. and another reason i`m so glad i have english; CHRISTIANNNNN. hawtassnigguhsaywhaaaaat?! and that`s a hot and cold relationship. i would let him marry me and tap this, but sometimes i can`t fucking stand him..ugh. idk, whatever.

and speaking of him, i went back to drill this week. bro. a [ my director/leader person/crazy old man ] put me in the back cause i ain`t been to practice all summer. one question; DILLIGAF? shiiiit i pick up stuff quick, and i`ve nearly learned something it`s taken them since JULY to learn in ONE practice. bitch that`s how fly I AM. and i know some of those senior ladies are still salty at me for what happened last year at nationals in dallas [ as if i care, i wasn`t in the wrong; you`d agree if i explained it ], but FUCK THEM. i`m there for GOD, okay? not for no raggedy ass hot-tailed teenage sluts who try to give me the holier than thou attitude. shit, and i know i`m not gonna be in the back for too long..i`ll be back in MY spot soon and very soon, and if not bro. a is going to regret it, real talk. and to think i was WORRIED about what those bitches thought. puh-lease, at the end of the day they`re not on my mind. jesus take the wheel, please.

GCH FTW. i`m so excited about their new quilt album. i think i might ask my mother if i can pre-order it for my birthday; that`ll make me super happy. i`m kinda sad though because they`ll be going overseas for more touring soon, and they won`t be in the states at all. and everyone knows i loves me some muffin mccoy. ol sequoia sexy tree lookin boy. jaysus. and disashi too..idc what ya`ll say. chocolate thunder ftmfw; and he`s having a baby too..with his girlfriend..i think her name was bluejay, or that`s what he calls her. i wanna see what she looks like. not that it matters; obviously he makes her happy and that`s what matters. but that`s very nice to know, and he seems very mature [ 95% of the time ] and maturity is so sexy. i promise you it is.

CHRIS BROWN needs to ask his mother some questions; i swear she like, adopted him from our family. we are related, and i`ll give 3509794549 reasons why, whether they`re true or not. jk, lmfao. but yeah i wanna be on his teammmm, yo. so i can go on and try my game on mijo [ lil` mijo, for the krumpers, NOT big mijo..oh NO, jaysus], fool. like, forreal forreal. i swear he`s like sexy melted whatchamacallit on a stick on a bun in a wrapper on fire. idk, seems to me that while everyone`s like ‘chris, chris, we love you!’ i`m like ‘barry, barry, i wanna toot toot, i wanna beep beep [ inserts rest of r.kelly ignition remix here ]!’. LMFAO, i`m a mess. like, chris had a lil chat thing recently, but then he wanted to do it over the phone and shit [ well that`s what he said but i bet pon de forehead will be like ‘no chrissy don`t, that`s dangerous’, and then his island voodoo`d ass won`t do it -_- ] and i hope he does and my friend gives me the hookup so i can be on board and stuff..so i can act a damn fool! >_< i can just imagine it now;

barry: it`s a call from..houston. 281.
chris: a`ight. hello?
me: heyy, how you doing?
chris: i`m good, what`s up? have a question?
me: yeah..for um..mijo.
chris: ?!?!?!?!?!??? oh, alright. MIJO! she got a question for you.
barry: ?!?!?!?!?!?? ^_^ okay. what do you want to know?
me: .. uhm ..
barry: yeah?
me: what will be your number in three years, and what do you like when it comes to sex? cause when i turn 18 i`m gonna have sex with you.
chris: [ falls out laughing ]
barry: O_O;

smh. i got problems. anyhow..i can`t believe that..this is the last night that i`ll be 15. i`m about to be one step in the adulthood door. i`m so excited, i tell you, it`s an exciting feeling. my mama`s supposed to bring home milk so we can have pre-bday cupcakes, and then we`re going to beaudreux`s. YUMMY. fish, shrimp, alligator [ yeah yeah your ew`s go here ], fried pickles [ more ew`s ] and more. yes bitch i will CONSUME. idk if my party`s gonna happen THIS SATURDAY. i got a feeling it`s not gonna happen until next saturday, but i really want to do it this saturday..but whatever happens, happens. i just hope i get that muhfuckinphone! if i don`t i will be devastated. i mean, really, i want ANY kind of phone with a camera and texting. that`s it. but an LG rumor would be cool. but now i`m out of things to say so..

“be someone else, be kanye. or taye will shank you.” :]]]]

unsealed letters.

i`ve had some stuff to think about tonight..so i`m up at the brink of dawn..

dear kee banana,

cougarrrrr! lmfao no. i kid. but yeah, i`ve probably used the words 'cool' and 'yay' more times that i should with you, lmfao. you`ve trusted me with very few of your secrets, and i appreciate it, because it ain`t everyday that people share information of that magnitude with just anybody in the whole world..especially when it comes to mr. bronson, LOL. but yeah, you know i luffs ya, and you`re always gonna be wifey in my eyes..not HER -_-

all love, taylalalala

dear beccarinooo,

my fckin aceeeeee =] sometimes, it`s better to talk to you because you`re about as close to my age as we are going to get, lol, and honestly, you are amazing, contrary to what some people might or have said about you. i know there are nights that i`d cry oh so foolishly over you-know-who, and you`d help me with a few words..literally, LOL. but yeah, you know that i lobe you [ remember that? lmfao ] and that you don`t need to change for no one.

love, taye. ps; BYLES BTCHS BOW DOWN ^__^

dear bashabear,

ahh, bahja monettttttt =D i still remember back like a year ago when i only knew you because of the silent reader strike [ dies ], but now, i`m glad i`ve gotten to know you. we really go through a load of the same things together, and you`re like the little sister that i might not ever have, you know if you ever need me, i got you, you know that. we`re gonna go places, lmao.

love always, tayeeee. ps; TEAM DECAYDANCE BTCH ^__^

dear jesstopher formerly known as jess,

my honey bun. :] i honestly don`t know what i`d do if i had never met you. you occupy my time LOL. if i was a man i`d treat you better than any man could or ever have treated you, because you simply are past what a woman should be. all young girls, women, and all in between should be like you. i`ve learned a lot from you, both good, and not so good--such as RAWR lmfaoooo--but i know that even through everything i go through during the day, coming home and being able to have a talk with you eases my mind. if no one else appreciates you, i know damn well that i do.

love, baylor :]

dear josh ( cleveland, krump, kegler, and robinson ),

what in the fuck is with me and boys named josh?! throughout my life i have somehow developed friendships and soon enough, feelings for each one of you. all endings were the same, but the epilogues were all different.

cleveland; you were my best guy friend since the fifth grade, all the way up until the ninth. my decision to tell you how i felt was honestly the worst mistake, yet the best decision i ever made. the horrible year that tore us apart, suddenly made us stronger as friends, and honestly, you were the only dude in my life i thought would always be there for me. maybe it`s my fault that we don`t talk anymore..i had a chance to say goodbye to you before i left, but i didn`t. maybe it was better off that way..maybe i will see you in a later time in life, but none the less, you are remembered in my heart..i just hope i`m remembered in yours.

krump; we were acquaintances up until the beginning of high school. the way that i told you i had caught feelings was super stupid..but the way you reacted was shitty. i really could care less what`s happening with you now. if you end up with some hoodrat who ain`t gonna give you shit but grief, then more power to her; that`s what you fucking deserve.

kegler; WTF was i thinking with you..lawdamercy. i ain`t got no hard feelings..in fact, even now, i still miss your indifferent ass. but oh well..i guess i should know how things go. but oh well..when i`m eighteen and fine as hell you`re gonna wanna try to break the law then, eh? ;]

robinson; nigga..*sigh* you are..the most unique, special, retarded, brilliant man i`ve ever got to know. i honestly thank god that i met you..you opened up a part of me that i never knew i had, and no one will be able to close it up but you. even after the whole awkwardness, you were still my friend..and i appreciate that. you are indeed a real man, and i admire you wholeheartedly. i miss you, dude. as a friend and as an admirer.

love, taylor

dear chris brown,

i think joyce got some explaining to do..lmfao, cause i swear that you could be my brother..maybe my mother really isn`t my mother or something..idk. or maybe my daddy gave your mama a sperm tube or some shit like that. no matter..you really inspire me. it sounds silly, indeed, but hey, i can`t really help it, right? you are a monster on the stage; i got two ticket stubs from two years in a row to prove it. you are a human being though, which is the most important to me. people expect celebs to be these do-no-wrong type people..but i`ve come to realize that you`re a human just like me, and you`re still growing..i just can`t wait until spring 2010..these little girls who are sooo hurt by you and rihanna..better get their nooses ready ;]

your sis, taylor. ps; you can still get it, lmfao

dear kanye west,

*sings* bittersweet..you gone be the death of me. i don`t want you, but i need you; i love you and hate you at the very same time. if those words don`t describe my fanship to you..duuuude i don`t know what does. sometimes i feel the pain you feel, and some of your performances lead me to weep. but then you go off at the mouth, and it makes me hate you. not because of what you are saying, but it`s because of the anger that i can feel behind it. you`re like me in a way; you have so many things to say, but you don`t really have a good way of saying them. but then when you`re provoked, you come out looking mad stupid, when in reality, you are intelligent beyond reason and have a true vision that even i can see. i feel your music..i see it..i taste it..all of that. and it`s just..i wish others could see what i see. i genuinely look up to you, but..you need a smidge of humility. just a little..it will be the downfall of you. but i wouldn`t care nonetheless what you do..just know that i`m in your corner.

heart, lil` west.

dear barry bradford,

you know, you ought not get a letter simply because you ain`t added me on myspace = LMFAO let me cut my bullshit. but dude, why do i even like you? other than the fact that you`re fucking breathtaking on camera? i don`t even understand it. i just see pics of you and i`m like..in awe. you are truly one of the most unique and beautiful motherfuckers i`ve ever seen in my life, and i am not even trying to lie. lawdamercy.. i just..i wish you was about what..five or six years younger, so we could totally be legal.

werd, baylor. ps; HE A KRUMP KING BTCH <33333

dear travis mccoy,

see, i already know i`m gonna cry writing this, seeing as how i`ve already teared up about a million times writing these unsealed things. but where do i even begin? well..it had to be in 2003, or 2004--i know it was at least before my grandmother died--and i first saw cupid`s chokehold. i loved the video, thought i had no idea who ANYONE was in the video. seeing you getting shot in the ass made me giggle, and the little cupids dancing was a delight. i never thought about it again until some years later when i began to hear the same song on the radio. i sang along with it, danced to it, and once it stopped playing, once again, it left my mind. fast forward to about june 2008..out of fucking nowhere, i`m lurking around some website, and somehow i fall in love with gym class heroes all over again. and now, hormones have kicked in, so i notice how attractive you are; the height, the tats, even the odd ass peircings, and the haiiiiiir. friggin love the hair. but yeah, you were considered, in my book, a certified dreamboat [ WTF says that anymore =O ]. okay, so i start to listen to your music..and i come across papercuts. i watch the video, and i`m damn near crying because those lyrics is every relationship that i`ve ever tried to start, but of course, there was something about me that wasn`t good enough. it spoke to me..so i went on the hunt for more gch..i needed more of this hip hop..this was the pure, raw shit that people just weren`t getting anymore. it was definitely something thereputic for me. over these past couple of music, i have fallen in love with the music that you make, and with with who you are overall. you aren`t a preacher..you live your life, and let that be your testimony. and to add to that, you are realer than any person i`ve ever seen. a lot of shit that you could have kept to yourself you gave away [ thanks to your blog =x ], and it makes me feel like i`m close to you, but then again, i could never understand your real struggles as a man. your mind is bigger than this whole earth, in both intelligence and visionary skills. this may be a little crazy for me to say, but you have become to me like how hall and oates are to you..and if the lord loves me..one day, i will meet you, matt, eric, and disashi, and maybe make music with ya`ll. even just talking to you..it will make me feel so blessed and so happy to be alive. you are truly, and undoubtibly, my idol.

with all the love in my heart, taylor.

are you a freak?!

WTF LMFAO

*kills imeem and singingbox*

UGH. so no hall and oates music for right now :|

just enjoy the pretty layout :[ i`ll have some kind of music soon..*SIGH*

well..correction =/

everytime you go away is actually paul young, but daryl hall wrote it so i`m gonna put it up anyway :D

new version..soon :]

so..life hasn`t been too exciting lately. i`m trying to get ready for school..which will definitely mean less computer time. i need to focus more on school and everything, especially being a junior now ^_^ so yeah..definitely changing everything that`s going on my live, in school and with my personality. i mean, i`m not an ugly person, but i dress like a boy every chance i get unless i have to dress girly, and i need to get out of that habit; i mean, this is JUNIOR YEAR, i need to step it up..now, i ain`t going to heels and shit, but i will be tryna dress more like i have a vag and not a peen =x

but back to why i was posting..uhm..about to put up version 2 of the site..featuring gym class heroes. <3 and i`m too mad at travis for making me go back down memory lane..you know how you be listening to an artist all your life, and you love their songs but you never know who that person is until so many years later? that`s how it is for me with hall and oates and i have travis to thank =]] i just downloaded like..four of some of my fave h&o songs.."everytime you go away, you take a piece of me with you" ack! that`s the joint. :] i remember trips to the clinic with my grandmother [ rip gramma i haven`t forgot you ], and my mom would have it on the easy listening/soft rock station, and h&o songs always came on, and we`d sing along. idk, i`m just an old soul i guess? gramma put that stuff in me :] but yeah i`m gonna put hall and oates songs ( and a song by player, though people said it was a rip off of an h&o song, but i love the song so.. ) on my profile, because now that i think of it, i wouldn`t be too good at singing if i didn`t listen to people like them. so..i`mma have graphics of my idol, and the music of his <3

the theory of the ' standalone complex ' .

as you may look at my page, you wonder..what is the 'standalone complex'?

it`s pretty simple.

i`m a person of high standards and higher morals. and in the world we live in today, being this type of person just isn`t cool anymore. you have to be having sex at the age i`m coming to--i`m about to be 16, btw--and you have to be either dating a dude who smokes weed or dating a dude who`s been put away somewhere, anywhere away from proper society. i`m not considered cool because i`m not showing my boobs, my ass, or giving away my goods like their sour pickles from the ice cream truck. for some reason, being at this age, being female, AND being black has me under so many supposed labels and stereotypes that there seems to be no way that i can stand out and show that i am better than that except than to simply just stand alone. the complex part ? oh , well it`s just a pretty name to put next to standalone , ha .

but yeah .. this is me , and this is my blog .